Friday, January 6, 2012


Today I'm feeling a bit more confused and irritated than I normally do on any given day.  Its been a stressful few weeks with everything going on and I'm trying not to let things bother me.  I'm sitting here thinking about what my goals might be and what I really want to do, so here goes.

My first goal is one of Weight Watchers goals.  It is to lose 5% of my starting weight.  This means losing 12 pounds.

My second goal is a Weight Watchers goal too.  It is to lose 10% of my starting weight.  This goal I'm really pulling double duty because that means I lose 24 pounds but I also get rewarded at 25 pounds so I'm lumping them together. 

My third goal is to be up and active enough to enjoy Boy Scout Camp with my oldest son this year.  I'm really nervous about going to camp because I don't do well in the heat but this is something he wants me to do with him and I want to support him in it.  He asked me to go last year, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  I have signed up to do it this year and I'm not backing out.  I'm hoping to be down atleast to 200 pounds by then, but I'll be fine as long as I'm able to handle the activity that we will be doing.

My ultimate goal isn't a weight oriented goal.  I want to become more physically fit and healthy.  I know with this, I will slim down.  I just want to set a better example for my kids so they don't grow up and struggle with their weight as so many adults do now days.  I want them to be able to run and play with their children and I want to be around for my grandchildren.  I want to actually have the energy and stamina to run so that I can clear my head and not stress so much.  I am hoping I'm on the right path and can stick with it.  That is my biggest fear.  That I will give up and be the weight I am for the rest of my life.  I"m not happy.  Although I keep a smile on my face, I'm not truely happy.  I'm stressed and confused and tired. 

This year is looking to be a good year.  Things may not be going exactly my way but I'm taking care of me and not worrying about everyone else.  I have to put myself back into the picture.  I'm hoping to go do my exit interview at school and maybe even sign up for some more classes.  I may even try to get a new job once scout camp is over, unless one happens to fall into my lap before then.  I would really like to see me be more physically attractive before I start looking for a new job because I know the likliness of me getting hired is better. 

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